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Two stoned drug addicts are standing in a high-rise building.
- Do you think it's a long flight from here?
- I think so, about five days.
- And when you land, will you die?
- Of course - five days without food and without water!
* * *
A beaver is swimming along the river and sees a fox making a school of eggs on the bank.
He thinks, let me swim up. He swims up and says:
- Lisa, let me try smoking, I’ve never tried it.
- No, beaver, swim away from here.
- Come on, fox, please.
- You'll be torn apart.
- So what.
- Then listen: I'm lighting up now, you're taking a drag, diving
into the river, swim underwater and exhale.
- It's clear.
In short, he took a drag, dived, swam, emerged, exhaled:
- What a thrill.
At that time a hippopotamus swam by, saw a beaver lying there with his back
kicks his paws:
- Beaver, what's wrong with you?
- There was a fox on the other bank, making a school of fish, so I tried it.
The hippopotamus thinks, let me swim too. Swam across the river, emerges,
and the fox said to him:
- BEAVER, BREATHE OUT!
* * *
A policeman comes to a drug addict's apartment:
- The neighbors are complaining about you. They say that you are always throwing rags at them.
It smells like burnt food, you laugh until the night!
What the hell are you doing here?
- Just like that... We burn rags... we laugh...!
* * *
At the apartment, two drug addicts are brewing a huge vat of hanka. One says:
- Listen, what will happen if I do all this... alone?
- What are you? A fool? - Another one answers, - from your ears, from your nose,
Blood will come out of your mouth.
- Yes?... And why?!
- Because I'll smash your whole face with this ladle!
* * *
Three drug addicts were driving home in a car. They pulled up to a traffic light,
and there: Yellow, red, yellow, green, yellow,
red... We stood there for half an hour. Those who are behind ask the one who is driving:
- Vasya, are we going or not?
Vasya, convulsively clutching the steering wheel:
- Damn... I can't make it!
* * *
[1]
[2]
[3]
[4]
[5]
[6]
[7]
[8]
[9]
[10]
[eleven]
[12]
[13]
[14]
[15]
[16]
[17]
[18]
[19]
[20]
[21]
[22]
[23]
[24]
[25]
[26]
[27]
[28]
[29]
[thirty]
[31]
[32]
[33]
[34]
[35]
[36]
[37]
[38]
Total: 186
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