cannabis fun club

Once upon a time a drug addict was walking through the desert. It was hot, the sun was scorching, where to go?
it's unknown, and he thought - he's going to die anyway, so what the hell, still
go somewhere... Sat down on the nearest dune and sits.
God saw this and decided that it was not good that man
had already completely lost hope. And he appeared to the drug addict in radiance and
said: come on, I'll fulfill your three wishes, and then you
get up and go.
- Well, come on, - the drug addict answered, - I could use a joint right now...
God created a joint, and they smoked.
- Oh, if only there was a joint...
God created another joint, and they smoked it too. And then
the drug addict got up and walked away. And God catches up with him: - you, man,
can we have a drink some more?

A man walks along a poppy field
Suddenly, a creature crawls out from the field to meet him.
the dazed pig says:
- Woof! Oh, what am I driving?..

Some scary cannibal caught three guys - an alcoholic, a junkie
and a hashish addict. Well, he says:
- Guys, I caught you for a reason... I want a buzz
to feel! Whoever gives me this pleasure, I will let him go, and if not
- I'm saving it all!
The drunkard was stirring up trouble, stirring up trouble - he stirred up some kind of buzz, he himself was hungover,
my hands were shaking, I gave the cannibal a drink. He drank it all up - it was addictive,
I threw up, my head hurts in the morning, I'm shaking all over - not fun!!! I ate it
alcoholic.
A drunken philanderer with shaking hands started up some kind of shirk -
shot the cannibal. He was shaken up as soon as he was driven to betrayal - almost
didn't kick the bucket - no fun... Worn down the douchebag too.
The marijuana addict dignifiedly rolled a joint and took a puff together with the cannibal.
It got me... made me laugh... made me laugh...
smart guy...we had a blast...we got the hangover - awesome!!!
- Well, go, my friend!!! Cool!!! - the cannibal says to the hashish addict. Go.
a pothead, he's walking, suddenly there's a stomp from behind! A cannibal with an axe runs up:
- Sorry, friend, I'm in the mood for some food!

Botany lesson. A stoned teacher asks the congregation:
- Ivanov!!! What plant do you know?
- Mac!!!
- Enough... five.... Sidorov!!! What plant do you know?
- Hashish...
- Enough... five... Hey!!! You, on the fifth desk!!! What
Do you know the plant?
- Chamomile...
- Two points!!! Last name!?
- Konoplev!
- Enough.... five....

One day the princess pricked herself with a spindle. She liked it very much.
She pricked herself with the spindle again. And she let her brother prick himself.
spindle.
And my brother also liked to prick himself with a spindle. And he let me try it.
the whole kingdom
prick himself with a spindle. And the whole kingdom liked the spindle. And
everyone started shooting up
spindle... And they lived happily ever after and died on the same day...
From an overdose of spindle

A drug addict is walking down the street and suddenly he sees a horse coming towards him from around the corner
the white one jumps, he is here and there -
didn't have time to dodge, knocked him down. He got up, shook himself off, and continued walking,
looks at him as the rocket flies.
Again, he didn't have time to dodge - she knocked him down. He lies there, starts slowly
get up, suddenly hears a voice:
- Fool, move away from the carousel!

Two narcs are standing at a bus stop. It appears from around the corner
bus. An hour passes. The bus has driven about twenty meters. It passes
another hour. The bus drove a little closer. Then one drug addict says to another:
- Listen, is he driving so slowly or are we waiting so quickly?

One drug addict got high and fell from the fifth floor. Well, naturally,
there's a complete commotion in the yard,
grannies and passers-by gathered, an ambulance arrived, everyone gathered
around him, looking.
At this time, another drug addict, also high, approaches him,
and asks him:
- Hey, brother, what kind of engine is this here, where are so many people from?
Here the first one rises from the ground and answers:
- Who the hell knows, I just came up to him myself...

Two men are talking.
- Genetics, Mendel, heredity - it's all nonsense. Here's my great-grandfather,
for example, he was an alcoholic. My grandfather was an alcoholic. My father was
alcoholic. And I'm not!
- Yah?!
- Of course. I'm a drug addict.

Two drug addicts are sitting in an apartment smoking weed. Suddenly, the phone rings.
at the door. One says to the other:
- Vasya, go and see who's there.
He went up to the door, looked through the peephole and shouted to his friend:
- Petya, there are some two men and two women.
Peter:
- Oh, cool, open it - it's "ABBA"

A drug addict wakes up in the morning, rubs his eyes and sees in the mirror instead
his reflection, the Serpent Gorynych.
“Yes,” the drug addict thinks, “it’s time to stop eating acid at night...
“Yes,” thinks the Serpent Gorynych, crawling away from the window, “we need to tie it up.”
eat drug addicts at night

There are two stoned junkies standing at the door trying to open it.
One looks at the other for a long time and then says:
- Hey, Kefan, what are you fiddling with in the lock?
He looks and sees an unlit joint. He replies:
- In a shoal!?
The second one says:
- Aha! So you and I were hanging out together!?

In the forest, the animals chipped in for a bag of heroin, whistled for a hare, and sent him
to get. The scythe ran away. He comes back - a full bag, only
a little
poured out. Animals:
- Hare, where is our black one?
- There sits a huge Serpent Gorynych in the clearing, and he took away a little bit.
- Okay then.
The next day, the same thing, only half a bag had already been poured out.
The hare again blames the terrible Serpent Gorynych. The third day -
no money, no "snow". The same excuses again. The animals gathered,
They say to the hare:
- Come on, take us to the Serpent Gorynych, we’ll sort this out.
- OK.
He brings them to a clearing and whispers:
- There he sits!
- Where? An empty clearing!
- Ooooh, on a rock.
The animals look - there sits a tiny white snail.
They say to the hare:
- Is this your Serpent Gorynych? Why is he so small?
- He's gone crazy, the bastard!

A smoker, an alcoholic and a drug addict meet in the afterlife. Smoker
says: "I died in terrible agony - my lungs were burned." Alcoholic
says: "I died in VERY terrible agony - my liver burned out."
And the drug addict thinks: "Wow, that got me hooked! Even the dead are talking..."

A drug addict with a player comes to the hairdresser and says:
- Cut my hair, just don't take off the headphones, or else
I'll arrange something like this...
The barber is trying his best to cut his hair
hitting the headphones, but still touching. Addict
jumps up from his chair, grabs his throat and falls
dead on the floor. The hairdresser is in shock. And he thinks what
he was listening to something there. He lifts his headphones and hears how
a monotonous voice repeats - "Inhale - exhale, inhale -
exhalation..."

A drug addict, an alcoholic and a drug addict all play table tennis
time wins.
The alcoholic asks
- Why is that,
and the drug addict replies:
"Why? You have a lot of balls in front of your eyes and everything is fast.
they jump, and I have one and it flies smoothly-smoothly"

A drug addict enters a store and approaches the saleswoman:
- "Tell me, do you have diclafos?"
- "One moment..."

Two junkies are riding on a motorcycle, and the cop-like Mussorschmidts are looking ahead.
The first one suggests:
- Let's pretend to be cops and get through. I'll be the siren, and you'll be the flashing light.
They're driving, one of them yells:
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Second:
- Blue, blue, blue

A drug addict is asked:
- How do people die?
- The stork is carrying them away!

Two drug addicts came to Australia. They saw a kangaroo running.
One says to the other:
- Think about what kind of hemp there is if there are such grasshoppers here