cannabis fun club

A stoned guy hails a taxi.
A taxi pulls up, a guy opens the door and asks the taxi driver: Are you getting to Sheremetyevo?]
Taxi driver: Easy!
Dude, slamming the door: Rush!!!

A drug addict is walking down the street and a girl comes up to him: Uncle, tell me what time it is?
Narik: "What time is it?", if that makes you feel any better...

A flock of files flies to warmer climes.
When the leader of the pack slows down and says to the others:
listen, guys, I'll lag behind here, ask someone what time it is and where we're flying to and catch up...
The rest: no problem, just ask!
And they flew on. And the leader descended, saw a clearing and a little hare sitting on it.
He flies up to the little bunny and asks, like, what time is it and where is the south?
The bunny says, what are you doing, guy, fucking? I'm still little, I don't know such bullshit...
If you wait, I can run and ask my mother. File has no choice but to say: run and ask.
The little bunny has gone away.
He's gone for five minutes, ten, twenty...
Then screams begin to come from that side.
The file thinks, fuck, someone is going to eat him now and runs in that direction.
He comes out into a clearing, and there stands a hare's house and the mother hare is bullshitting her baby hare, saying:
“What file?.. What south, damn it?.. Got high again?!?!”

There's a guy standing there, a plan on his hand, rolling a joint. A piece of trash comes up,
covers
the guy's palm with his:
- And here is the article!
The guy turns both palms over and the entire plan appears in his palm.
garbage:
- Depends on who!

A drug addict is walking along, stoned. A kid approaches him and asks:
- Uncle, tell me, what time is it now?
- What time is it now, if that makes you laugh, boy.

He got high and started crawling. And he crawls this way and that way, and sideways, and on his back, and
tail first. And at the end he arched like a cobra, standing and swaying
and says:
- Well, it’s taken away, it’s taken away!!!

Mom is sleeping - she is tired,
Well, I didn't interfere.
I don't bring guests into the house,
I got injected and here I am.

A man is walking through an unfamiliar area. He looks at the children smoking a joint in the sandbox. It fits:
- Can you tell me how to get to Lomonosov Street?
- And who are you?
- I? I'm Garik.
- Oh! A wig for Garik!
They blew on his locomotive. The man felt better, smiled, and walked on. Then he remembered and came back:
- Guys, it's me. I was looking for Lomonosov Street!
- And who are you?
- I? I'm Garik.
- Oh! A wig for Garik!
They blew him another steam engine. The guy was really cool. He went on. He remembered again, and came back:
- No, guys, you didn't understand me. I need Lomonosov Street!
- And who are you?
- Who, who... Vova! - Oops... Garik has had enough!

Two drug addicts are sitting in a movie theater. The lights are slowly, slowly going out.
One says, "Why does the light go out so slowly?" The other replies, "Here,
imagine, a projectionist comes into his booth and s-o-o-w-i-l-o-w pulls
"the plug from the socket."

A drug addict came to a store and stood in line. A metalhead came up and
speaks :
-What are you standing for?
- For some cheese.
- Is it heavier than metal?
- I don’t know, I haven’t smoked!

There's a guy standing there, a plan on his hand, rolling a joint. A piece of trash comes up,
shows
on hand:
- Here is the article!
The guy blows on his hand and blows away the whole plan:
- But there is no article!

The men have a huge tree growing in their yard and they can't cut it down.
they can. Well, they called an alcoholic, gave him a bottle of vodka. In the morning they wake up,
The drunk is sleeping, there is no vodka, but the tree is standing.
They called a drug addict, gave him glue, acetone, and all sorts of other nasty stuff.
In the morning they wake up, the drug addict is lying dead, the glue and acetone are gone,
the tree is standing.
They called a drug addict, gave him Belomor, and weeded him. They woke up in the morning -
no drug addict, no weed, no tree, half the forest is cut down, and somewhere far away
the sound of an ax is heard. They run up, and the drug addict is knocking down trees with might and main, only
chips are flying.
- Hey! What are you doing! They asked you to cut down one tree, and you cut down half the forest.
ruined it!
- Yes, guys, you see, at first it was just for fun, but then it hit me...

A drug addict is riding a trolleybus. An old woman and a sailor are standing nearby. The old woman
gives the drug addict a ticket and asks him to pass it on. Drug addict to the sailor:
- Soldier, pass me the ticket.
- I'm not a soldier, I'm a sailor.
Drug addict to an old lady:
- No problem, granny, we're on a ship!

Doorbell.
- Is Gosha home?
- Gosha died.
Five minutes later again:
- Is Gosha home?
- But you were told that he died!
- I don’t understand something: isn’t he going to go get poppy seeds?

Winter. A drug addict opens a window on a trolleybus. The wind is blowing
in his face.
The elderly woman is indignant:
- Young man, close the window! It's cold outside!
- I'm stuck, granny. If I close the window, will it get warmer outside?

A drug addict is walking through the desert. Meet a Bedouin on a camel.
- Hey, man, is it icy here?
- What the hell are you doing, there's no ice here?!
- Really: they poured so much sand!

Drug addicts sit around a campfire after a day of duck hunting.
- Something's not going well today...
- Either the ducks were flying high, or we were throwing the dog low...

Two drug addicts are driving in a car.
- Vasya, an old woman is crossing the road! Slow down!.. Oh, I feel sorry for the old woman.
- Vasya, cyclist! Turn away!.. Oh, what a beautiful bicycle it was.
- Vasya, MAZ! Yes, slow down!
- Come to your senses, Seryoga! You're the one driving!

A group of drug addicts are sitting at one of their houses, smoking something.
his own. And then one jumps up and shouts: "Cops!", everyone quickly began to hide
cigarette butts anywhere. One stuck it in a cuckoo clock. Police
walked around, found nothing and left. And then the door opens in
hours, from there
The cuckoo comes out and asks in a drunken voice:
- Hey, you, on the left, what time is it?
He, dumbfounded:
- An hour.
- Then cuckoo.

Two crows in a tree got high. One is smoking her last joint, and
another one swam up - and clattered from the tree. The crocodile below sees - a crow
fell down
"She must have been stoned!" - and climbed a tree to have a look. The first crow
takes a drag, turns to the crocodile and says: "Oooh, friend! You
"Enough already!.."