cannabis fun club

Two drug addicts are traveling on a train, one says to the other:
- Do you hear? Do the locomotives hurt?
- No, why did you get the idea?
- Why then are they all dragging, dragging, dragging...

Our president argued with the American one about whose people live better.
We agreed to ask 3 questions.
He flies to America, approaches the man, and asks:
- How much do you get?
- 5000 dollars.
- How do you spend your free time?
- I go to the cinema, the theatre, I swim, I sunbathe.
- Do you have a car?
- Certainly!!!
The American President arrives in Russia. And our president in advance
persuaded a drug addict -
That guy over there will come up to you and ask you questions, and I will
stand around the corner
and when you hear that I’m coughing (cough-cough), immediately exaggerate.
The American President approaches a drug addict.
- How much do you get? - $500. (Cough cough) Per day.
- How do you spend your free time?
- I drink, I smoke, I shoot drugs, I’m a fucking woman. (Cough-Cough-Che-Che-Chee!). And men too.
- Do you have a car?
- What a f*cked car. (Cough-Cough-Che-Chee!). I fly on an airplane

A cop is walking home from work, all out of control, there is chaos in the city: overnight
7 murders, 18 car thefts, 14 rapes, etc. In a word
failure, no life. He walks and sees a drug addict on a bench smoking joints,
The cop pulls out the fool and bam - he killed the narc.
The drug addict opens his eyes - in heaven with a joint in his hand. "Oh, damn, that's funny,"
- thinks. Then God approaches him and asks:
- What is this in your hand?
- Stupid, do you want to take a drag?
God took it, smoked it and said to the drug addict:
- Good bullshit, let's do it this way: I'll bring you back, but you
You will send me a kilogram of this herb every month.
The narc, of course, agreed. The next day the cop goes home with
work, crime situation in
the city has become even more complicated, people don’t know what, in general,
do... and sees the same one sitting on the same bench
drug addict and smoking a joint again. "Hell," the cop thinks, "it's time to quit."
from work." He approaches the drug addict and says:
- Yes, I fucking shot you yesterday, how did you
ended up here again?
- I agreed with the “chief”, he brought me back.
- Listen, could you talk to him so that he can bring me back?
three years ago, then I have my whole life
would have turned out differently. I wasn’t a cop, I wouldn’t ruin my health like that,
I would start a business...
- God knows, I can try, but I need 2 kg myself
the best grass.
The cop immediately ran to get the herbs. Brings 2 kg, hands it
drug addict, pulls out a gun and -
bam killed the narc for the second time. The narc opens his eyes - in heaven. "In,
Damn, that's funny, he thinks he's lucky
and the second time." Met God, sat on the lawn, took a joint,
one, two, three, talked about this and that.
God:
- Listen, dude, we agreed that you would
send me weed, rather than come with it yourself.
- Well, “chief”, you know, the thing is that there’s one cop, you know,
the same one. who sent me here the first time,
sent me here a second time, but with a request. He asks you
so that you would help him, bring him back three years ago,
then he would become a different person, a good person.
- Oh, these mortals! Okay, I'll fulfill his request. Right there
There is a bell tower in the woods, you can ring the bell three times,
your “friend” will go back three years ago. You go, and while I do, I’ll finish the joint.
Well, the narc left, and God began to fill up the joints. Scored one, two,
the third... and the narc is gone for an hour, two, five.
Well, God thinks, “I’ll go and see what’s wrong with him.” Collected the shoals and
went. He approaches the bell tower and sees: the drug addict is all
sweating with all his might, he keeps ringing and ringing the bell and shouting:
- I WILL NOW SEND YOU TO THE DINOSAURS, YOU FUCKING COP!!!

The drug addict is sitting, smoking weed, and another one is walking on the other side of the road.
drug The first one shouts:
- Bro, come here - let's smoke. Cool grass...
The second one started to cross the road, and a BelAZ knocked him down... his brains,
guts, bones scattered all over the asphalt... The first drug took a long drag
and says:
- Well, nevermind, you broke off

A visitor comes to a restaurant, sits down at the table and calls the waiter.
- What do you have to eat today?
Waiter taking out menu:
- One moment...
- Yes, well then I’ll have two tubes

A drug addict sits, hammering his heel. He scored, smoked, he felt good.
Suddenly he sees aliens descending. Humanoids smoked the heel
with a drug addict. They ask:
- How long will it take?
Addict says:
- About 3 hours.
The humanoids took out their heel, smoked with the drug addict, and asked:
- What, is it sticking?
He answers:
- It's okay.
Humanoids say:
- This is for you 89 years in advance

The addict looks at the fan and thinks:
- How quickly time flies...

There are two junkies:
- Did you hear that Vasya entered medical school!
- Wow! What is he studying there?
- Yes, it’s not him... It’s him they’re studying there...

If you are in a great mood all the time,
great friends, stunning girlfriend,
huge salary, there is no hangover and you never
haven't been to the dentist...then you have only one choice: SAY NO TO DRUGS!

Yesterday at a lecture, a stoned professor showed electromagnetic waves.
Half the students saw them...

A drug addict is sitting on the river bank. An HP in a Mercedes stops nearby:
- Hey, where is the strand here?
- Yes, 2 meters to my right.
The HP accelerated, drove into the water and drowned. Narc:
- Strange. Ducks passed here recently and did not drown

Drug addicts arrived at the front. They are sitting in a trench. Boring. One says to the other:
- No smoking, no injecting! The head is clear, fresh, even disgusting.
At least he was shell-shocked, or something...

Question for a drug addict:
- Why did they always applaud Brezhnev so well?
- Everyone liked it when he said: The Party’s plan is the people’s plan

I heard there's a rock festival tomorrow! It's called "ROCK VS.
DRUGS"!!!!!
- Yeah! Of course... it's like "BEES VS HONEY"

At the doctor's office:
- Unable to live without drugs? Take this medicine!
A month later:
- Well, are there any changes?
- No. I still can't make a living without selling drugs.

Two drug addicts meet, one says to the other:
- Have you tried day and night?
- No
- Went.
They made a big noise - it didn't hurt. He went out onto the balcony to smoke, and before his eyes
dark-light-dark-light,
I didn’t understand anything, he comes out and says:
- Mom, I’ll go for a walk.
- Yes, go son, otherwise you’ve been standing on the balcony for a week, covered in cobwebs

A biker is riding along the highway, stoned, going nowhere and thinking: “He’ll stop now.”
The cop will ask me why my eyes are red,
Are you stoned or something?” and I’ll say: “No, it’s blown by the wind.” He drives on,
the cop stops him:
- Why are your eyes red, are they blown by the wind?
- No, I'm stoned

A guy comes home, stoned, just no good. Thinks:
“Just don’t get burned in front of your mother, just don’t get burned.” She told him:
- Sit down, son, eat.
He sits down and starts eating. His mother looks at him and says
- Son, you should at least take a fork.
And he is indignant:
- Who's smoky, I'm smoky?!

Our Tanya is crying loudly...
She's having withdrawal symptoms today

Addict's Anthem:
"A million, a million, a million small doses..."