cannabis fun club

Two drug addicts are riding in a trolleybus. One of them approaches the driver and asks
sews:
- Will I get to the station on this trolleybus?
- No.
Second drug addict:
- And me?

Once the Germans caught our intelligence officer. Well, he is a stubborn man.
turned out to be. They put him in the gas chamber. Well, of course, he resists,
behind the door
he's spitting. And in the cell the drug addict sits and moans so pitifully:
- You, man, decide: there or here, otherwise it’s going to be fun.

At a drug addict's wedding. Toastmaster:
- Did they all hit the vein?
- Yes, yes...
- Then BITTER!

There are two drug addicts, an old man and a young man. They smoked a joint. The old man
smiled, the young man sat - nothing. We smoked a second time. Quite old
he's having a blast, the young man doesn't care. We smoked a third, the old man
- kick under
bench. The young man looks at him:
- What a bastard, he's completely lost his mind, but if it had given me at least a little bit, but no,
only the horns were itching...

Two people are smoking a joint, and one says to the other:
- Look, look, a pink elephant!
- Where?
- Yes, there it is, it flew out the window.
Two cops are walking down the street, one says to the other:
- Drug addicts live in that apartment over there.
- How do you know?
- Just now a pink elephant flew out of the window...

Rush hour. Two drug addicts are sitting on a trolleybus. An old woman approaches.
- Son, aren't you ashamed! You should have given up your seat.
One starts to get up. The other says to him:
- Sit down, Seryoga! I know this tattoo: you stand up - she sits down!

A drug addict stands in the subway waiting for a train. The train pulls up. The door
opens up right in front of his nose. Drug addict:
- E-e-e-e-e.....
The doors close and the train leaves.
- Oops!!!

A drug addict is sitting on a trash can, smoking. A policeman comes up:
- What are you sitting here for?
- I'm smoking.
- This is a place for garbage!
- Oh! Excuse me! Please sit down, - he jumps up from the trash can...

A drug addict is walking along, dragging a thread behind him. They tell him:
- Hey, are you stupid, dragging a thread behind you?!?
- So what, should I push her in front of me or what?!?

The hippies got together to smoke some weed. They smoked. The bazaar began...
Question to the owner of the house: - They say you bought a dog... And what did you name it?
- A joint..
- Hey, Kosyache-ok... (a small dachshund runs in)
- A joint - a voice.
- Puff, puff, puff, puff...

The guy wanted to get high, so he got high and felt it,
not at all in the tower
gives, let him think, I’ll stand by the window, maybe he’ll give me something... I got up
y window, looks
on
street, the tower doesn’t move, then his mother comes up to him and says
- Son, you want to eat something, otherwise you've been standing by the window for three days already...

An eagle sits on a tree, smoking a joint.
Suddenly a frog runs up and asks:
"Eagle, do you have any smoke?" "Yes, I do!"
The frog killed itself and went into the swamp.
He comes and there is a crocodile. The crocodile asks: "Frog, do you have any smoke?"
Frog: "No, I don't have it, the Eagle does!"
The crocodile went to the eagle and asked: "Eagle, do you have any smoke?"
Eagle: "No, Frog, you've had enough!"

Two narcs are sitting on the second floor balcony. They smoke.
One asks the other:
- Listen, when will the buzz begin?
- But when that green dog flies by over there, that's when it gets really cool.

There are two alcoholics sitting downstairs by the entrance.
One says to the other:
- Listen, there's a green dog flying by!
- It's not ours, it's those from the second floor.

A drug addict is riding on a bus.
The grandmother says to the drug addict:
- Son, punch the ticket.
The drug addict took the ticket and passed it on:
- Soldier, punch the ticket.
- I'm not a soldier, but a sailor.
- Granny, shave, we're on a ship!

A drug addict, completely stoned, stands in front of a mirror:
- Here I am! And here I am! Here I am...
They ring the doorbell, realizing that they need to open it and go to the door:
- Who's there?
- I!
- Oh!!! And there I am!

A drug addict comes home with a bag of weed.
Somehow I realized that it needed to be hidden. I shoved it under the carpet.
How can I check, what if they find me? - It dawns on him: he goes to the door,
knocks on himself, answers himself:
- Knock-knock!
- Who's there?
- Police! Do you have any weed?
- No!
- And under the carpet?
OOO ...
I put it behind the cupboard - and the same situation:
- Knock-knock!
- Who's there?
- Police! Do you have any schmaltz?
- No!
- And under the carpet?
- no - ah!
- And behind the closet?
SOOO ...
- Knock-knock!
- Who's there?
- Police! Do you have any weed?
- No!
- And under the carpet?
- Nope!
- And behind the closet?
- Nope!
- And in the refrigerator?
- Nope!
- And under the sofa?
- nope!
- Damn, where did I hide it?!!!

A drug addict wakes up, goes outside and asks a passerby:
- Dude, is today Thursday?
- No, today is Sunday.
- What, yesterday was Thursday?
- No, yesterday was Saturday.
- What, tomorrow will be Thursday?
- No, tomorrow will be Monday.
- Dude, I don’t understand, there won’t be a Thursday?!

The stoned junkies were going home. One, the closest to the surface of consciousness,
manages:
- I'll catch a car now, we'll make a deal, and you sit down and keep quiet. So that no one
I didn't realize that we were already puffed up!
Caught a car, made a deal. Got in, and off they went.
.....
Driver:
- Have you been smoking weed?
- How did you guess???
- "As I guessed."... The five of them are sitting in the front seat, silent.
all the time....

“That’s the telegram,” said my friend, unwrapping a shell from a joint.