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Drug-addicted teacher in botany class:
- Children, what's growing in the garden? Masha?
- Mac.
- Mac? Mac is a five! Peter?
- Hemp.
- Hemp? Hemp is five! Sasha?
- Cabbage.
- Cabbage? Cabbage is two. Surname?
- Kosyakov.
- Joints? Five, Joints. Five joints?
* * *
School. A new teacher enters the class:
- Hello, my name is Marihuana Gashishovna, now answer me.
me: how do birds fly?
All in unison: - In shoals!!! - joy appears on the students’ faces.
- How do the cars drive?
Everyone is simply indescribable delight, shouting: - On wheels!!!
- What do cows eat in winter?
A squeal that turns into a howl: - Grass!!!!!!!
- Yes!? So: birds - in flocks, cars - on the road, cows - hay, and
My last name is Oblomova.
* * *
Vasya, a drug addict, died. Well, everything is as it should be, a funeral. Meters
five away
crowds of relatives there is a crowd of drug addicts with a poster "VASYA!!! YOU ARE NOT
"DIED!!! YOU'RE RUNNING!!!"
* * *
Two drug addicts are sitting in a trench. A tank is rolling towards them. One says to the other:
- Matthew! Throw a grenade...
- Crowbar...
- Matthew! The tank is close... it might crush you...
- To hell with him...
The tank stops, the tank driver sticks his head out and says to the drug addicts:
- Guys, throw a grenade, it's too much trouble to go any further...
* * *
A drug addict is visiting a doctor. The doctor asks:
- Young man, tell me what month it is now?
- May.
- No, it's September now. Can you tell me what the next month is?
- May.
- No, the next month is October. What month will come after October?
- May.
The doctor jumps up and shouts:
- No! Behind October is November! Behind November is December! Then January, followed by
February.
The drug addict thoughtfully:
- What, there won't be May?
* * *
[1]
[2]
[3]
[4]
[5]
[6]
[7]
[8]
[9]
[10]
[eleven]
[12]
[13]
[14]
[15]
[16]
[17]
[18]
[19]
[20]
[21]
[22]
[23]
[24]
[25]
[26]
[27]
[28]
[29]
[thirty]
[31]
[32]
[33]
[34]
[35]
[36]
[37]
[38]
Total: 186
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