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There are two stoned junkies standing at the door trying to open it.
One looks at the other for a long time and then says:
- Hey, Kefan, what are you fiddling with in the lock?
He looks and sees an unlit joint. He replies:
- A joint!?
The second one says:
- Aha! So you and I were hanging out together!?
* * *
In the forest, the animals chipped in for a sack of heroin, whistled for a hare, and sent him away.
to get. The scythe ran away. He comes back - a full bag, only
a little
poured out. Animals:
- Hare, where is our black one?
- There sits a huge Serpent Gorynych in the clearing, and he took away a little bit.
- Okay then.
The next day, the same topic, only half a bag has already been poured out.
The hare again blames the terrible Serpent Gorynych. The third day -
no more money, no more snowballs. Again the same excuses. The animals have gathered
They say to the hare:
- Come on, take us to the Serpent Gorynych, we’ll sort this out.
- OK.
He brings them to a clearing and whispers:
- There he sits!
- Where? An empty clearing!
- Ooooh, on a rock.
The animals look - there sits a tiny white snail.
They say to the hare:
- Is this your Serpent Gorynych? Why is he so small?
- He's gone crazy, the bastard!
* * *
A smoker, an alcoholic and a drug addict meet in the afterlife. Smoker
says: "I died in terrible agony - my lungs were burned." Alcoholic
says: "I died in VERY terrible agony - my liver burned out."
And the drug addict thinks: "Wow, that got me hooked! Even the dead are talking..."
* * *
A drug addict with a player comes to the hairdresser and says:
- Cut my hair, just don't take off the headphones, or else
I'll arrange something like this...
The barber is trying his best to cut his hair
touching the headphones, but still touching. Drug addict
jumps up from his chair, grabs his throat and falls
dead on the floor. The hairdresser is in shock. And he thinks what
he was listening to something there. He lifts his headphones and hears how
a monotonous voice repeats - "Inhale - exhale, inhale -
exhalation..."
* * *
A drug addict, an alcoholic and a drug addict all play table tennis
time wins.
The alcoholic asks
- Why is that,
and the drug addict replies:
"Why? You have a lot of balls in front of your eyes and everything is fast.
they jump, and I have one and it flies smoothly-smoothly"
* * *
[1]
[2]
[3]
[4]
[5]
[6]
[7]
[8]
[9]
[10]
[eleven]
[12]
[13]
[14]
[15]
[16]
[17]
[18]
[19]
[20]
[21]
[22]
[23]
[24]
[25]
[26]
[27]
[28]
[29]
[thirty]
[31]
[32]
[33]
[34]
[35]
[36]
[37]
[38]
Total: 186
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